Azalea's Celebrity Crush
by LeonPianta
Summary: Azalea has always hated Valentine's Day, but this year, she's gonna have the perfect one. Why? Because she's gonna get with Lane, of course!  Written for megaman1998/CosmicMega's Valentine's Day contest.


Note: Unfortunately, I don't own any of the characters in this. So… yeah.

Note 2: This is my entry for megaman1998/CosmicMega's Valentine's Day FTL story contest. I would like to know what you all think of it!

Azalea's Celebrity Crush

* * *

Great. It would be Valentine's Day, wouldn't it? See, there's this thing about Valentine's Day… I HATE it. If it was tangible I would probably beat it to a pulp with a baseball bat. No, it's not because I never have a date. Well, that's not the main reason. The MAIN reason is because, well… it's super lame and lovey dovey and UCK! That drives me insane. I hate super romantics. And that's why I've chosen a new target to date this year.

Lane.

He's totally awesome and hot and completely perfect for me. Tomorrow, I'm gonna make him mine.

* * *

"Azalea!" he calls. No, unfortunately for me, it's not my Laney. It's just my doubles partner, Tiny. Yeah, in case you didn't know, I'm a golfer. I'm sure someone like Lane likes chicks that are into sports. Does golf count? Oh… I'm just worrying myself.

"Yes?" I reply.

"Aren't you going on vacation today?" Tiny says back.

"Yup!" I say, smiling.

"Are you packed?" he says.

"Nope!" I say again.

"Why not?"

"I don't want too much weight to… um, weigh me down when I'm on the move!"

"What?" he asks, getting red across the face.

I simply laugh at him. "I'm going to find Lane! When we get together, it'll be the PERFECT Valentine's Day! He's gonna buy me nice jewelry and expensive shoes, and I'm gonna hug him, and we're gonna make fun of Rachel and her laugh!"

He facepalms. Then, he's about to speak, but he facepalms instead. Then he almost speaks again, but he facepalms.

"I get it," I say. "You don't think I can get Lane!"

"No! Because he probably has a girlfriend!"

"Gasp! Who was THAT mean to YOU?" I say, not letting that doofus say such horrible things about me.

In return, Tiny simply facepalmed at me and left.

"Thanks for the good wishes! ^^," I said, and was off to the airport.

* * *

"Flight for one to Decatur, Texas, please," Azalea said to the lady at the Shroom Air desk.

"…?" the attendant said.

" '…?' what?" asked Azalea.

"What is Texas?" the attendant asked.

"You know, like, in the United States?" Azalea said.

"In the _REAL _world?"

"Yes, the real world; what other United States is there?" Azalea said, laughing at the attendant's expense.

She was met with a stern look. "We don't exactly have space/time crunching airplanes, ma'am."

"What?"

"I said-"

"Did you just call me ma'am?"

"Um, yes."

"No one calls me ma'am."

"I'm sorry, m-"

"**NO ONE CALLS ME MA'AM‼11‼1!one‼!1!1‼!**" Azalea yelled. She used SKILLZ to materialize one of her golf clubs, and pulled back for a swing.

"Not the sand wedge!" the attendant shouted.

_**WHACK‼‼‼‼‼‼‼‼‼‼‼‼‼‼‼‼‼‼‼‼‼‼‼!**_

"T.T," said the attendant.

"Have a 'good' day!" Azalea said, chucking the club at her once more.

* * *

"How the frick am I gonna get to the real world so that I can see Laney?" Azalea said to herself, strolling confusedly down a path through Petal Meadows. "This Valentine's Day NEEDS to be better than all before it!"

"Excuse me, missy…" said a voice.

"AH! Who's there?" Azalea said, epically turning around.

"Just me, over here," said the voice. It was coming from behind a tree.

Azalea slowly walked over to the tree, producing another club (just in case).

"Really? You're gonna hit me with a club?" the voice said. It walked out from behind the tree.

"Oh, hey Koops!" said Azalea, waving very energetically at him.

"*facepalm* Did you think my Beldam impression was good?" Koops asked.

"That was you! OMGosh!"

"*facepalm*."

"So anyway, I need your help."

"With what?"

"I need to find a way to get to Decatur, Texas."

"TEXAS?" Koops shouted, shocked. "How the heck are you going to find this 'Texas'?"

"I don't know! It's in the real world, and nobody has ANY idea how to get there!"

"If anyone knows anything about travel to the real world, it's Merluvlee. Plus, she sees the paths ahead for us."

Azalea scratched her head. "So where does this Merluvlee live?"

"She has a little place in Rogueport Sewers," Koops said. "Just keep walking that way."

"Okay!" said Azalea. She started walking, yet stopped. "Are you following me?"

"I thought you wanted me to come along," Koops said, shrugging.

"Uh… ok."

"Cool!"

* * *

"You know, Azalea, this isn't like you," Koops said, stopping her from entering Merluvlee's.

"What?" Azalea replied.

"This isn't you! You HATE the whole romantic thing, but you've fallen frickin' deep for a guy you haven't even met!"

"What?" Azalea said. Then, she laughed. "You think I'm ROMANTICALLY interested in Lane? That's priceless!" She continued to laugh.

"?" said Koops.

"I don't have any romantic feelings for Laney! I haven't met him, and I just want to look at his body and hug him and be with him! And then, we're gonna throw things at Rachel and make fun of Valentine's Day!"

"Do you realize that that sounded REALLY AWKWARD?"

"Wha… but… *facepalm*," said Azalea.

"And also, why would you make fun of Valentine's Day if he's YOUR DATE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY?"

"Move please," she said, shoving Koops out of the way. She quickly entered Merluvlee's.

"Hello, and welcome. What can I do for you?" Merluvlee said.

"Merluvlee? Yes, can you help me? I need to go somewhere, but I don't know what path to take," Azalea explained.

"Ah, you've come to the right place." Merluvlee smiled. "It is here that you will find the paths the future will pull you to!"

"Excellent! How much does it cost?"

"Let's see… how does 16 coins sound?"

"GREAT! Tell me where I'm goin' go!" Azalea said. Merluvlee facepalmed at her horrible grammar, and then scanned her crystal ball.

"Stars! Show me what I seek!" Merluvlee shouted. Cards flew around, and epic lights flashed. Azalea fell asleep.

"I see… your path," said Merluvlee. "First, you must… FIRST YOU MUST AWAKEN!"

"AH!" Azalea screamed, being shocked awake. "UGH *facepalm*."

"First, you must go to the train of excess, and on it, ride to the station of sunset… Once there, you must go across the river, as far south as it can take you, and once your travel is done, you will see… a pipe. A pipe… to the real world."

"Wow."

"Yes. Good luck to you."

"GEEZ US! DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT?" Azalea shouted.

"Well, I…" Merluvlee started.

"THAT'S it! I'm going back to the cabin!" Azalea ran out and slammed the door. She walked right past Koops, hoping to hide the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"Azalea… Azalea! Wait! What's wrong?" Koops said, wrapping his arms around her.

Azalea turned to look at Koops, seeing the concern in his eyes. _Maybe Koops truly is the one, _she thought. _He really cares._

"Azalea?" Koops said.

"Are you pulling the moves on me? EW!" Azalea said, shoving Koops down.

"What are you doing?" Koops shouted.

"I'm getting a ticket for the Excess Express! AH HAHAHAH LANE IS MINE!"

* * *

So this is it for me. I'm on the Excess Express! ^^ Lane and I are gonna have the BEST Valentine's Day EVER! :D

* * *

Author's Note: Yes, in case you couldn't tell, the first and last paragraphs are Azalea's POV and the others are third person. Enjoy! ^^


End file.
